When I first heard of, and started looking into journaling, I wasn’t certain how you were meant to go about it. I’d never kept any kind of diary. In fact, the only diary keeper I had known had been my sister when she was younger, who had a pink, fluffy, ‘top secret’ diary that came with a voice activated lock. I knew that Bridget Jones kept a diary but beyond her and my sister, I didn’t have any male points of reference beyond Adrian Mole and Samuel Pepys.

I’d made a mistake, of course. Journaling and diary keeping are not exactly the same thing. Where a diary is a log of daily events and often surface-level emotions, a journal is a more considered form of writing and self analysis, that can include diary-like elements, but doesn’t have to. 

It was during this time, educating myself on journaling and learning more about the habit that I began to notice some of the strange ’recommended’  search terms that were being suggested to me. 

“Is it normal for men to journal?”

“Is it normal for a man to keep a diary?”

“Is it weird for a man to keep a journal with him?”

“Why don’t more men journal?”

It felt a little strange. Why would journaling not be for men? If it’s just writing, why would it exclude any gender?

Of course, there’s more to it than that. These questions are intrinsically linked to the harmful way in which generations of young men were, and are still, raised. Don’t show emotions. Boys don’t cry. Stop being a girl. Man up.

This leads to horrifying effects for young men and terrible statistics that we still see today. Men are taught to conceal their emotions and just get on with it, which is why only 55% of men would tell someone if they felt depressed (compared to 67% of women).

Journaling can be an outlet for a lot of men, then. A safe, non-judgmental middle-ground between openly expressing your thoughts and emotions and actually telling another person how you are feeling. It can help you to collect your thoughts and determine how you want to express yourself, which can make those conversations easier when they do happen. Beyond that though, there are a wealth of potential benefits to developing a journaling habit that absolutely make it a worthwhile pursuit for any man.

GREAT MEN JOURNAL

If you’re a man considering starting a journaling habit, then you’ll be pleased to know that you’re in illustrious company. Many great men throughout history have kept journals where they have been honest about the trials and tribulations they have faced in their time, and left pearls of wisdom for future generations to find. Obviously, I’ve already mentioned Adrian Mole, but other, less fictional journalers include:

Marcus Aurelius: Former Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius gifted the world a blueprint on how to be a person of unwavering principal and moral fortitude in his journal, now translated and widely available as the book, “Meditations”. In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius demonstrates how we can develop and evolve a personal philosophy and use our journal to apply that philosophy practically to the challenges and obstacles that every day life can send our way. Despite rampant corruption, betrayals and hardships, the Emperor maintained his principles and regularly reviewed if his actions were reflective of the man he wanted to be. 

Theodore Roosevelt: The former US president was a prolific writer of diary entries, correspondence, book drafts and speeches that detail the life and mind of an extraordinary individual who lived and led during some of the most trying times. They are a testament to commitment, bravery and perseverance that we can all demonstrate in our day-to-day lives.

Bruce Lee: As well as being one of the greatest action stars of all time, Bruce Lee was an avid journal writer and philosopher. His daily entries demonstrate how he used his space to clarify and solidify his thoughts into a well expressed, often poetic, personal philosophy. I’ve always found this to be an excellent use of my own journals, as defining and exploring my personal philosophy gives me a ‘North star’ to follow through life, and I can measure my actions against my own expectations of myself.

Benjamin Franklin: As a man who helped draft the Declaration of Independence and US constitution, Benjamin Franklin’s skill as a writer is under no question. He was also a keen journal keeper from the age of 20. He kept a list, now widely known as, “The Thirteen Virtues”, which he would hold himself accountable to, in his quest for continual self-improvement. (https://www.lochby.com/blogs/blog/how-to-journal-like-benjamin-franklin?srsltid=AfmBOoowM1gEQOGCIQPQEEjeJFV736UlbWnR3a_kVH8mSoQ5S5CeOK0G) – how many of us even give serious thought to our virtues and values, let alone hold ourselves accountable to them?

Thomas Edison: Thomas Edison is reported to have written close to 3,500 journals in his life (https://edison.rutgers.edu/). This is a man who didn’t stumble across success, or inadvertently change the world. No, he actively pursued it every day, using journals to clarify his mission and purpose, to measure his proximity to what he wanted to achieve, and to keep himself accountable. 

For me, these are men who knew themselves and knew what they stood for. They appear to have used writing as a means of solidifying their values and repeatedly reiterating their goals. Journaling as a method of developing and practically applying a personal philosophy is a road to self-improvement.

MULTIPLE BENEFITS OF JOURNALING

Improved mental health – Writing your thoughts and feelings let’s you clarify those thoughts and feelings for yourself, and identify thought patterns or situations that can trigger challenging emotions. Journaling has been shown to reduce anxiety and aid with the processing of emotion.

Set and achieve goals – Writing your goals is a great step towards achieving them, but writing a plan and continually measuring your progress is almost guaranteed to get you there (or at the very least, closer than you currently are). Your journal can be a daily check-in and reprioritisation tool that helps you keep your momentum in the right direction.

Improved memory – Writing down important dates, to-do lists or reminders is a great way of taking the day-to-day admin stresses out of your way. My journals are filled with reminders, to-do lists and quotes that I have found interesting. Taking the pressure to remember everything away can help free up capacity for you to concentrate on other things and be more creative. 

Better organisation – Much the same as memory, my journal helps me to organise my life better. I can plan for things ahead of time and consider what I need to do in order for certain things to happen. Planning and writing yourself through scenarios ahead of time can lead to fantastic results and a better organised life.

Improved communication – I don’t enjoy being made to express myself before I’ve had the time to really consider a topic and how I feel about it. Thankfully, journaling allows you to consider things from many different viewpoints and really solidify your thoughts, allowing you to better communicate your opinions. It can also help communication in relationships, because you have a non-judgemental space to work through difficult conversations, or you can put yourself in your partners shoes in an argument and better consider their side of things. Journaling really can bring a clarity of thought and purpose to your communication style. 

More self-awareness – it’s easy to miss our own strengths and weaknesses, or to tell ourselves a narrative in our heads that doesn’t fully line up with the reality of our situations. Journaling regularly can help to highlight thoughts, behaviours and actions so that we can assess ourselves against the person we want to be. It may seem counterintuitive to want to be more aware of your weaknesses, but I have found being honest and self-aware in this aspect of life can have enormous benefits, such as highlighting areas to improve or letting us identify the people and strengths we need to surround ourselves with in order to succeed.

JOURNALING BRINGS IMMORTALITY

Something I notice time and time again with the people I look up to, or who have inspired me, is how open, honest and generous they are with their knowledge and inspirations. Truly great people seem to readily leave a breadcrumb behind then for anyone to find and follow. I’ve lost count of times when I’ve been reading books or listening to interviews and been pointed to something else that has inspired me or sparked a new interest, or taught me something I didn’t previously know.

When my daughter was born, I made a conscious decision that this was how I wanted to be. Not forcing my likes, dislikes, idols or inspirations on her, but rather, making them accessible to her, so she might stumble across them in her own time and learn her own lessons. I’m not a wise person. I don’t have amazing insights into the way the world works or the best way to navigate life. But I do think that I surround myself with wisdom. That I seek out the people who have been there and done that, and I try to learn from them. 

My daughter might never open my journals. (They could end up in the bin!) But if she did, I’d like to think they would give her some honest insight into the type of man I was and the type of man I wanted to be. That she might find some hand copied poem or lyrics or quote that lead her down a rabbit hole of exploration and innovation. That she will see what inspired me and how that changed over time. 

She might see that whilst I’ve never been cool, I was human and fallible. I might even have made some of the same mistakes that she has made and be able to offer some insight into how I coped.

I don’t need her to read my journals, or to think how clever and full of insight her dad was, but I do find the idea that I might, in some small way, be there for the people I love, even when I’m not, quite comforting.

What a long winded way of saying, yes.

It’s okay for men to journal.

Happy journaling

Looking for inspiration to get started? Check out this post on ‘How to journal‘