Fear is a natural part of human life. It is a vital and deeply important evolutionary trait that prevents us from getting into danger or getting hurt, but when we become too fearful, it can begin to control our story. There are times when feeling a little fear but taking the risk anyway can lead to powerful results; asking that person out, having that conversation with your boss about the pay-rise you know you deserve, taking that once in a lifetime trip. If we allow fear to go unchecked, it can shrink and diminish us and prevent us from ever discovering what we’re truly capable of.
Through journaling, you can uncover the toolset you need to face and confront fear, and not let it define you. You can acknowledge it, understand it and then move forward anyway with renewed strength of purpose and clarity of direction.
Fear is an experience, not an identity
You are not scared, you simply feel scared, and that is an important distinction to make. Feelings pass. We feel things all the time. Right now you might be feeling tired, or hungry or happy, or melancholy… the list goes on. You feel something, and you understand it is your body telling you what it needs. If I feel hungry, I know my body wants food, but maybe I’m trying to stay in a calorie deficit and eating would take me into a surplus, so instead, I acknowledge the feeling and understand what my body wants, but I decide to carry on doing what I’m doing anyway because my long-term goal of fat loss outweighs the short-term gratification of eating more calories.
In this same way, fear is your body’s way of telling you it needs something. It’s up to you to feel the fear, understand what your body needs at that moment, acknowledge that need, and then decide if that immediate need aligns with your long-term goals. If not, as difficult as it might be, you can choose to ignore the fear and do the thing anyway.
The important thing to remember is that everyone feels fear, and it serves a valuable evolutionary purpose, so feeling fear doesn’t make you weak. Journaling allows you to assess your fear from a step removed and understand it, and this understanding helps you prevent fear from defining you and dictating your actions, your choices and preventing your growth.
Why journaling helps you face fear
Often when we feel fear, it causes our mind to speed up; playing out worst case scenarios over and over again, trying to find possible alternative outcomes or ways to avoid having to face the thing we fear. We can often be our own worst enemies in these situations, driving our own anxiety and increasing the fear out of proportion.
When we journal, we are making the time to slow down our thinking and examine our thought processes. We can study and question our fears and put it back into perspective, rather than ruminating or catastrophising.
Journaling about fear helps you:
- Break vague anxieties into specific thoughts: Rather than struggling with a general feeling of anxiety, you can target the situations, conditions and thoughts that are leading to feelings of fear. This identification and naming process is the first step to overcome the fear.
How to journal about your fears (step-by-step)
Journaling is a powerful tool for dealing with fear whenever it appears. Here are some practical steps you can follow to help you journal about fear:
1. Name the fear
Write out exactly what you are afraid of, and try to be as specific as possible. Just this simple act of writing it down may lead to some surprising insights. For example, you might write, “I am afraid of starting a business even though I’m sure I have a good idea.” And on reflection, you might add, “I don’t want to fail and look foolish.” This is really useful. Without writing, you might convince yourself that the fear is doing something new and difficult, but what you’re actually afraid of is how you will be perceived if you fail. To deal with the fear in any meaningful way, you need to understand exactly what it is that you’re afraid of.
2. Feel it without judgment
If you’re anything like me, this stage can make you feel a little self-conscious, but it’s important. Once you have named your fear, use your journal to describe what the fear feels like physically, emotionally, and mentally. Do your best to avoid censoring yourself or over-thinking it – the key here is to be as honest as possible. Feeling the emotion allows you to understand the way your body reacts when this emotion occurs, and over time, you’ll get better at identifying when it happens.
3. Question it
Now that you have felt the fear and accepted it, it is time to use your journal to do the real work and start to question the fear. Where did it come from? Is it based on a real, imminent threat or is it based on an assumption or ‘possible’ scenario? Have you been right to be fearful of this before in similar situations or did it turn out to be unwarranted. In this way you can start to assess and explore what the fear is trying to tell you and if it is a serious danger that you’re right to avoid, or if it’s something you should try to push through.
4. Explore the worst-case and best-case scenarios
A lot of the time when we feel fear, we build scenarios out in our head where everything that could go wrong, does. This can often set us spiraling, and make us unsure of the best move to make to avoid this series of catastrophes. With journaling, you can start to explore those scenarios. Write about what the worst thing could be, explore how it would make you feel, consider how likely it is to happen and then write about how you would cope if that worst thing did happen. Then write about what would happen if you faced the fear. What would the best possible outcome be in that situation? Does it outweigh the potential negative outcome? Which scenario is more likely to happen, or what could you do to increase the chances of a positive outcome, whilst mitigating for a negative outcome?
5. Reframe it
Reframing the fear means changing the way you think about it. Instead of seeing fear as a hard stop sign, instead, look to see if there is a lesson that can be learned. Ask yourself:
- “What is this fear teaching me?”
- “What strength can I build by moving through this?”
Remember that fear is a useful thing to feel and there will be situations where you should listen to that fear and stop, but in many situations, where we are stepping outside of our comfort zones or making big decisions or living in accordance with our values (even when it is difficult), that fear can be a barrier to growth. Your journal is a place to define and assess and ultimately decide if the feelings of fear are useful to you, or if you need to demonstrate courage and push through those feelings.
6. Define action steps
Finally, it is time to take action. Remember, courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s action in the face of it. You know what your fear is, you understand why you are feeling it, and you understand the consequences of listening to that fear and backing down, or ignoring that fear and moving forward regardless. Now you need to commit to what that forward direction looks like. Start small, and just write down the first one or two steps that you can take today, in spite of your fear, and then commit to taking those steps. Use your journal to track your progress and keep you on the path.
Journal prompts to help you confront and conquer fear
Use these prompts to get started:
- What fear is currently holding me back the most?
- When have I faced fear before and come out stronger?
- What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
- What belief about myself feeds this fear?
- What matters to me more than staying comfortable?
Common pitfalls to avoid
Overcoming fear is no easy feat – it takes inner strength and courage and a conviction that what you are doing is the right thing. Fear is a deeply felt, evolutionary impulse that is designed to keep us out of danger, so doing things in spite of fear can be extremely difficult. Don’t put yourself under pressure to conquer fear right away. This is an ongoing process, and fear will show up in various guises throughout your life. If you are using your journal to face fears, try and avoid these common mistakes:
- Beating yourself up for feeling fear.
You haven’t failed and there is no shame in feeling scared. Remember that one of the first steps in the journaling process is letting yourself feel the fear without judgement. It is important to acknowledge the way you are feeling and understand why that fear is there. When you feel fear, your body is trying to tell you something. Do the work, and understand what that is. - Getting stuck circling the fear.
It can be easy to mistake the act of writing in your journal for taking action, but writing about your fear is just part of the process. Don’t fall into the trap of procrastinating by writing about every possible scenario or ‘what if?’ variation. Use your journal to gain clarity, uncover insights and then plan and (most importantly) take action. - Expecting fear to disappear overnight.
Journaling is a practice. The more you do it, the more easily you will be able to identify and reframe fear when it crops up, but it’s the kind of thing that you need to keep working at and revisiting when you feel as though fear is obstructing you.
Rewrite the story
It’s not easy to overcome your fears, but you don’t have to allow fear to control your story or make you contract. Through journaling, you can face your fear, address it head on and plan your next move with courage and clarity.
Dave Bawden is the founder of This Journaling Journey, where he helps people (especially men) use journaling to rewrite their personal myths, reconnect with meaning, and define success on their own terms. He writes at the intersection of self-authorship, narrative identity, and everyday philosophy.
